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Muriel: How’s Laura? And the kids?
Jay Jameson: They’re fine thanks. Howard? Sam? Brie?
Muriel: Lovely. Sweet. A delight. DO you want a coffee. We have one of those machines with the pods. Lucy makes a first rate latte.
Jay Jameson: No. Thank you. This week’s column...
Muriel: Straight in to it. Are you hear to discuss my column?
Jay Jameson: One thing a time. This week’s column.
Muriel: I know it hasn’t got the retweets I’d have liked but I feel like it’s one for strong click through.
Jay Jameson: Being generous we could say it washed its face.
Muriel: I was hoping my followers weren’t going for it but it might play big with the Guardian crowd.
Jay Jameson: It’s done fine.
Muriel: The police should stop responding to domestic violence calls. Classic Muriel.
Jay Jameson: Yes.
Muriel: It was based on hard data. Check the figures. I didn’t just make it all up.
Jay Jameson: You’re a hero.
Muriel: I’m a heroin. Next you’ll be telling me you’re in the ‘Meryl Streep is an actor’ brigade.
Jay Jameson: Muriel.
Muriel: I’m very genuine on law and order.
I’m doing gay marriage this week. Off the back of the priest johnny. It’s Terry and June not Terry and John. The usual.
Jay Jameson: Hmm.
Muriel: Hmm?
Jay Jameson: The big three aren’t doing it anymore. The click-through from social platforms aren’t what they might be.
Muriel: Am I in trouble?
Jay Jameson: That depends how the second thing thing shakes out.
Muriel: The court thing is nothing. It’s going to be fine.
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