DĚKUJEME
A home.
In the middle of the living room is a model village. In the model village is a home that looks like the previously mentioned home. In the home in the model village is also a model village.
He is standing by the model village. He is working on it, screwing, cutting, gluing, etc.
She enters from the side.
She: I fell asleep.
I must’ve fallen asleep.
It’s not like me, to sleep like this in the middle of the day.
He: No.
She sits down.
Pause.
He: Would you like to have a look?
She: Have you made something new?
He: I have.
I’m changing it. Developing it all the time.
She walks over to the model village.
She: You keep going with this, don’t you?
He: Yes.
She: You’re creative.
He: Well yes.
She: You always have been. Creative.
You’ve always been good with your hands.
Quite something this, isn’t it.
He: I’m happy with it, if I do say so myself.
She: Yes.
Yes, with good reason.
But you’ve stained your shirt?
He: Yes.
I happened to spill something.
She: Can’t you wipe it off?
See if we have a stain remover.
He: Yes.
He’s looking for a stain remover. She is looking at the model town.
He: Do you know where it might be?
She: I don’t. Look on the shelf in the hall.
Pause.
Little She enters.
Little She: I fell asleep.
I must’ve fallen asleep.
She: She’s coming in.
She too fell asleep, same as me.
Little She: It’s not like me, to sleep like this in the middle of the day.
She: Fascinating.
I forget, from one time to the next, how fascinating this is.
He: Well yes. Thanks.
Little She: I feel completely dazed.
My head’s completely dazed.
She: It’s not difficult to see where you get your inspiration from.
He: No it isn’t.
That’s what it’s like to live with an artist.
She: You can say that again.
Little He: Would you like to come and see?
Little She: Have you made something new?
Little He: I have.
I’m always making something new.
Little She walks over to the model village.
She: There’s a model village here.
He: Yes.
That’s the new one I’m working on.
She: They have a model village too.
He: Yes.
A model village in the model village.
She: Fabulous.
Little She: You keep building and building.
You keep going with this, don’t you.
Little He: Yes.
Little She: It’s creative.
Little He: Well yes.
Little She: You’ve always been good with your hands. But have you stained your shirt?
Little He: Yes.
I happened to spill something.
She: He’s stained his shirt too.
You’ve made him just like yourself, just as clumsy as you.
Little She: You can’t wipe it off?
See if we have a stain remover.
Little He: Yes.
She: How funny. You know what, that was really very funny.
He: Thank you.
She: Imagine including that, that he has stained his shirt too.
That’s a good one.
He: We don’t have any stain remover.
She: Don’t we?
I think you’ll need stain remover to get rid of that stain.
Pause.
He: (To those in the little model village.) Sorry, but … I’ve stained my shirt, and I don’t have a stain remover.
Little He: Yes. I was just looking for some as well. Just now.
He: Yes I know.
Little He: You can borrow mine, if I find it.
Little He looks for a stain remover.
She: Do you borrow from each other? I didn’t know that.
He: Oh yes.
We do sometimes.
She: All the time we’ve lived together, and I didn’t know that.
That thought never struck me, that maybe you borrow from each other.
He: Well yes.
Like now, if I can’t find a stain remover, I can ask.
She: But …
He: Yes?
She: But I’m just thinking …
I’ve been sleeping in the middle of the day and I … quite frankly think that I may be getting sick, that there could be something...
He: Yes?
She: And she. She came in and felt just like me. You don’t think …
He: What?
She: You don’t think that she could’ve had it first and then, in some way… then.
He: No.
No, no. That’s impossible.
That’s not possible.
She: No.
He: No.
Little She: Now something’s happening here.
A Very Little She comes into the very little model village.
Very Little She: I fell asleep.
I must’ve fallen asleep.
She: What’s happening now?
He: Something in the little model village.
The model village in the model village.
Little She: She’s been sleeping too, same as me.
Very Little She: It’s not like me, to sleep like that in the middle of the day.
Little She: Fascinating.
Little He: You see where I get my inspiration.
That’s what it’s like to be married to an artist.
Very Little She: I feel completely dazed.
My head’s completely dazed.
Very Little He: Yes that’s what happens.
That’s what happens when you sleep in the middle of the day.
Little He: (To He.) We don’t have a stain remover.
He: We’ll have to manage without it then.
Little He: But I can ask the others. I’ve stained my shirt too.
She: Ask the others?
He: (To Little He.) Yes. Why don’t you ask them.
Little He: (To Very Little He.) Sorry.
Sorry.
She: What’s he doing now?
Little She: What are you doing?
He: I suppose he’s borrowing from them.
Little He: Sorry, but I’ve stained my shirt and I don’t have any stain remover.
Very Little He: Hang on, I’ll have a look, perhaps we do.
Little She: Are you borrowing from each other?
Little He: Yes.
We do sometimes.
Little She: We lived together for all this time, and I didn’t know that. The thought that you might be borrowing from each other never occurred to me.
Little He: Well yes.
Like now, if we don’t have stain remover, it’ll be me who’s asking.
Little She: But …
Little He: Yes?
Little She: But I’m thinking about …
I’ve been sleeping in the middle of the day and I … I quite frankly think that I may be getting sick, that there could be something…
She: You see! She’s thinking the same as me. You know, I can feel that I’m not well and it could have come from there.
He: From the smallest ones?
From the model village in the model village?
But honestly, darling, now you’re exaggerating. Now you’re exaggerating a lot.
Very Little He: We have stain remover.
She: What’s he saying?
I can’t hear.
He: It’s not so easy to hear the smallest ones, but just look. He’s holding up.
Little He: Oh good. Thank you.
(To He.) Here. You can borrow this.
He: Thank you.
Little He gives He a very small spray bottle with stain remover written on it.
She: Are you going to use it?
He: Yes.
He sprays the stain.
She: Are you borrowing from the very smallest ones?
He: It’s the first time. It’s brand new, you know, this model village in the model village.
She: So now you’re going to borrow from them?
You’re beginning to borrow from the very smallest ones?
He: Well yes.
She: That spray bottle, well I wouldn’t even touch it. She was sick, the smallest one, and now you’re touching that bottle. It could easily be where it comes from, from her, the very smallest one.
He: Come on now, you’re really exaggerating.
The sickness is not coming from the smallest ones.
She: If I’m worried, the least you can do is support me.
You can at least take my side.
He: Yes.
Well yes.
Alright.
She: Let me have a look.
She reads the bottle.
She: Kills bacteria, it says here. So you take this one and then you spray clean the smallest ones’ place.
He: I’ll try, but it’s not easy with this little one.
She: Try.
He takes the very small spray bottle and sprays it on the very smallest model village.
Very Little She: What’s he doing?
What’s happening?
Very Little He: It looks like he’s —
He’s washing our table.
He: That doesn’t help much.
That doesn’t help much at all.
She: We have another spray.
She goes to fetch another spray bottle.
He: It’s better to keep the sick ones in their own place. It’s better to isolate those who are sick.
That has no effect.
She comes with a chlorine spray.
She: Try this one.
He: This one? Chorine spray?
This big bottle?
She: One squirt.
Hold it over them and give it one squirt.
Pause.
One squirt.
He: One squirt?
She: Yes.
He holds the chlorine spray over the very small model village.
He: Like this?
She: And then you give it one squirt.
Little He: What are you doing?
Little She: Chlorine spray.
It says chlorine spray.
Little He: No.
No, you’re not going to do that.
Very Little He: What …
Very Little She: Oh no, what’s happening.
She: One squirt.
One squirt.
He pumps the spray bottle.
Very Little He: Fuck.
Bloody hell.
Very little She: Chlorine.
Very Little He: Chlorine.
It’s fucking chlorine.
She: Good. And then isolate her, the other one. And then you isolate her, that one.
He: Yes.
Very Little She: I can’t breathe, I …
Help.
Very Little He: Help.
Little He: (To He.) They’re dying down there, do you realise that!
Very Little He: I can’t … breathe …
Little He: (To He.) Do you realise that they’re dying down there???
Very Little She and Very Little He die.
He: (To Little He.) That wasn’t the intention.
She: And now you isolate the other one.
He: That wasn’t the intention. I didn’t mean to kill them.
I was just going to clean it.
She: And now you have to isolate the other one.
He: Yes.
He puts his hand down in the model village and pushes Little She to the side of the living room.
Little She: Hey, what.
What are you doing?
Little He: Let go of her.
He puts walls around Little She, so she becomes separated in another room.
Little He: What are you doing?
He: (To Little He.) She’ll have to be by herself, in case she has something infectious.
Little He: Infectious?
Are you joking?!
Are you out of your mind???
He: No. It just has to be like this, for a bit.
He carries a bed into Little She’s room.
He: There. Now you’ve got somewhere to sleep.
Little She: (To He.) Am I going to have to stay in here?
He: Yes.
For a period of time.
Little She: How long?
He: No.
I don’t know.
Little She: You don’t know???
But …
For Christ’s sake.
Little He: But what about food? She’s got to have food.
He: (To Little He.) I’ll let you give her food. Of course she’ll have food.
Little He: There’s no door! There’s no door into the room.
You want me to climb over the wall, is that it?
You want me to throw food over the wall?
He: Just hang on.
He gets a pair of scissors and cuts out a door in the wall.
She: But she can go in and out, if there’s a door.
He: But she has to have food. And what if she wants to go to the toilet.
She: You can put in a little toilet, can’t you? Don’t you have something you can put in?
He: No. It’ll have to be like this.
She has to be able to go in and out.
Big She: I fell asleep.
I think I fell asleep.
She: She’s awake.
Big She: It’s not like me, to sleep like this in the middle of the day.
Big He: No.
Big She: I feel completely dazed.
My head’s completely dazed.
Big He: Yes, you get like that.
You get like that if you sleep in the middle of the day.
She: She’s not well either.
You have to tell her that … that we know where the infection comes from, that it’s under control. She has to be told that we’ve got it under control.
Tell her that we’ve sprayed it with chlorine and isolated one of them.
Big He: Do you want to have a look.
Big She: Have you made something new?
Big He: Oh yes.
I’m always making something new.
Big She walks over to the model village.
She: Tell her.
He: (To Big She.) We’ve sprayed it with chlorine!
Big She: You keep going with this, don’t you.
Big He: Yes.
Big She: You’re creative.
She: She can’t hear you.
He: We’ve isolated her, this one here!
And we’ve sprayed chlorine!
Big She: (To Big He.) You always have been, you know, creative. You’ve always been good with your hands.
Big He: Yes. Thanks.
Her: She can’t hear you.
Big Her: But you’ve stained on your shirt.
Don’t you have any stain remover?
You’ll have to find some.
Big He: Yes.
Big He looks for stain remover. Big She looks at the model town.
He: We’ve sprayed chlorine!
She: We’ve sprayed chlorine!
We’ve isolated one of them!
Big She: They’re talking to me.
Big He: Yes they are.
They’re very social.
Big She: Fascinating.
He: We’ve isolated one of them.
Big She: They say they’ve isolated one.
Big He: Isolated one? You’d better ask what they mean.
Big She: (To He and She.) You’ve isolated one, what do you mean by that?
She: We’ve isolated one of them, one who’s sick, and then we’ve sprayed chlorine on the very little model town down here.
Big She: (To Big He.) Oh, they mean in their little town.
Big He: Yes, isn’t it cool. That’s the new thing I’ve been making.
A model town in a model town. Isn’t that groovy?
Big She: The clever things you do!
Big He: But listen, we don’t have any stain remover.
Big He walks over to the model village. To He.
Sorry, but I’ve stained my shirt and I don’t have any stain remover.
Big She: Do you borrow from each other?
Big He: We do sometimes.
He: We only have this. This little one.
He holds up the very little stain remover.
We didn’t have stain remover either, so we had to borrow.
Big He takes the very small spray bottle.
Big She: You’re using this?
Are you using this … a … tiny dot.
Big He: It’s the only one we have.
Big She: No honestly, now you’re touching it, and the others … they’ve all handled that spray bottle, and one of them is already in isolation there and I … I’m not feeling all that well either.
Big He: No honestly, now you’re exaggerating.
You’re really exaggerating now.
Big She: No honestly, now you have to agree with me for once. I’m not feeling all that well, and you have to support me if I’m worried that this can be infectious.
Big He: All right.
But what should I do?
What do you want me to do?
Big She: Hang on.
Big She gets a chlorine spray, gives it to Big He.
Big She: Use this.
Big He: This? Chlorine spray?
Big She: Not on the model town. But on the model town, in the model town.
One squirt.
Hold it over them and give it one squirt.
One squirt.
Big He holds the chlorine spray over the little model village.
He: What are you doing?
She: Chlorine spray.
It says chlorine spray.
He: No.
No, you’re not doing that.
Little He: What …
Little She: No, what’s happening.
Big She: One squirt.
Big He gives it one squirt.
Little He: Fuck.
Bloody hell.
Little She: Chlorine.
Little He: Chlorine.
It’s fucking chlorine.
Big He puts his hand into the model village and pushes She to the other side of the living-room.
She: Hey, what …
What are you doing?
He: Let go of her
Big He puts walls around She, so she is separated into a room of her own.
He: What are you doing?
Big He: (To Little He.) She’d better stay here on her own, in case she’s infectious.
Little She: I can’t breathe.
Help.
Little He: Help.
He: (To Big He.) They’re dying down there, don’t you realise that!
Don’t you realise that they’re dying down there???
Little He: I can’t … breathe …
Little He and Little She die.
Big He: (To He.) That wasn’t the intention.
It wasn’t the intention that they should die. We just wanted to clean it down there.
Her: But how am I going to get food???
There’s no door.
He: (To Big He.) Is she going to stay there, without food and a toilet?
Big He: No, no, she’ll get a door.
Big He cuts out a door.
Big He: There. Now she can go to the loo.
Big She: But then she’ll go in and out.
Big He: Yes. But she has to be able to go to the loo.
Big She: Yes.
A very big chlorine spray appears, but it’s so big that He and She don’t see it. Only Big She and Big He can relate properly to the very big chlorine spray and to Very Big She and Very Big He.
Big She: Chlorine spray.
It says chlorine.
Big He: (To Very Big He.) No.
No, you’re not doing that.
Big She: (To Very Big He.) Stop.
Stop.
He: What …
She: What’s happening?
He and She are sprayed with a big squirt of chlorine.
He: Fuck.
Bloody hell.
She: Chlorine.
He: It’s fucking chlorine.
She: I can’t breathe.
Help.
He: Help.
I …
Big He: (To Very Big He and She.) They’re dying down there, do you realise that!
Do you realise that they’re dying down there???
He and She die.
Big She is being led by Very Big He towards one end of the room.
Big She: Hey. What’s happening …
Big He: (To Very Big He.) Hey. Let go of her! Let go of her!
Big She: But …
But if I’m going to have to stay here, how am I going to get food?
There’s no door.
Big He: (To Very Big He.) Is she going to stay there, without food and a toilet?
Is she?
You have to make a door for her!
You have to make a door!
Pause
What …
What’s happening now?
Big She: Something’s happening there … up there
I … I can feel it.
Hey!
Big She and Big He are sprayed with a very big squirt of chlorine.
Big He: Fuck.
Bloody hell.
Big She: Chlorine.
Big He: It’s fucking chlorine.
Big She: I can’t breathe, I …
Help.
Big He: Help.
I.
Help.
Big She: Help.
I …
Big He and Big She die.
The end.
written for Svět a divadlo
published in Svět a divadlo, issue 4, volume 2020
translated from Norse by May-Brit Arkeholt
